I am really, really tired…

Remember this post about how I was tired? Yeah, well, I was full of crap at that point.

Why am I so tired today, you ask? Well, yesterday LB and I drove down to my mom’s house to spend some time with her and await her test results.

Here was my “To Pack” list for me: 2 pairs jeans, 3 shirts, underwear, toiletries

Here was LB’s “To Pack” list: 4 onesies, 4 Sleep N’ Plays, 2 outfits (ones Grandma picked to make her happy), 2 swaddle sacks, 1 Giraffe Sleep Noise Machine Thingy, 2 receiving blankets, 3 spitties (burp cloths to those not in the know), 2 extra bottles, extra gas drops, a bottle warmer, extra heiney wipes, extra diapers, extra pacifiers, some rattles, the BabyHawk, the stroller, and the car seat. And this list is so “short” because my parents had the foresight to buy the basics for their house so we “didn’t have to bring anything but the baby”…

So after loading up the car, LB and I hit the road. A trip that is normally 2 1/2 hours took almost 4 because we had to stop halfway there for a diaper change, a bottle, and the requisite 20 minute post-bottle immobilization. On the way into town, we stopped at my dad’s office so his staff could ooh and aah over LB (naturally, they all said she was the most beautiful baby they’d ever seen, despite her wicked case of baby acne…).

Well, last night was bath night. But LB’s schedule was all wonky, so instead of being relaxing like it normally is, it just pissed her off because she was hungry and had to wait until after her bath for her bedtime bottle. Then, I go into the nursery to give her the bottle and realize that, instead of socializing with my family, I should have been getting LB’s room set up. But I hadn’t. So the rocker wasn’t right and there wasn’t a night light and I didn’t have the sleep giraffe thingy ready and my crap was all over the place. Needless to say, it was not a calming bedtime bottle. Oh, and there wasn’t a clock and I forgot my phone, so I had to guesstimate on the 20 minute post-bottle immobilization – it was probably only 12 (but felt like an eternity) so of course she spit up all in the crib…

Normally, LB doesn’t sleep in the same room as me and DB. She is a very loud sleeper. But I forgot that my parents don’t have a baby monitor and my usual room here is kind of far away from the nursery. So I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to hear her (Ha!) and decided to sleep on the daybed in the nursery for one night until I could buy a monitor today. I mean, plenty of people sleep in the room with their babies, right? How bad could it be?

It was bad. No, scratch that. It was really bad.

She is so loud and so wiggly and so loud and so grunty and so loud that I think I got an hour and a half of sleep last night. And I only got that when I finally broke down and stuck her in the bed with me, which I hate and hurts my back because I contort into all sorts of weird positions because I’m worried I’ll squash her.

So now my back hurts and I’m tired and I feel, I truly feel, for those parents whose babies will only sleep in bed with them. Hats off to you, because I couldn’t do it. I love her and all, but I love sleep, too. And if, at this exact moment, I had to choose one or the other – I’m not sure which one it would be.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy a baby monitor…

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