Today, LB and I went to two of our favorite places –
Heaven Target and Harris Teeter.
At HT, she started to get a little grumpy in the Ergo, so I have her a coupon to crumple. She loves pieces of paper and the sound they make when squashed.
Me being me, when she spit her paci out I just picked it up, shoved it in my pocket, and kept going. I’m sure all the seasoned moms out there could have told me what was going to happen next, but I had no idea.
As we’re starting to check out, LB lets out this little cough and I look down to find soggy, half-eaten coupon dangling out of her mouth. Of course I freak and start sticking my none-too-clean fingers in her mouth and pulling out bits of paper. Meanwhile, this pimply-faced teenage checkout boy is staring at me with a mix of horror and amusement as the Littlest Brewster shrieks over the ignominious-ness of having her toy so rudely taken away from her.
At this point, I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten all of the coupon out of her mouth, we pay, and I load her into the car to head home.
I keep glancing in the baby-checking mirror on the way home, convinced that she’s still got a piece of paper in there that she’s gong to choke on. Her being her, she started to fall asleep once we were in motion. Well, I mistook “falling asleep” for “passed out from lack of oxygen” and proceeded to freak out again. I swerve onto the side of the road, throw it in park, turn on the caution lights, and run over to her side of the car. I wrench open her door, shouting her name, and proceed to open her mouth, pat her cheeks, and generally annoy the crap out of her. She gives me this look like, “What is wrong with you!?!” and goes back to sleep. I get back behind the wheel and drive home, still literally shaking from the fear and adrenaline. I also debated whether or not to tell DB what happened, as I was pretty sure he’d be angry at the stupidity of giving LB coupons as toys. I figure that, if I don’t tell him, he’ll figure it out when there’s a chunk of paper in her diaper one morning, so I should bite the bullet and get it over with.
But, DB being DB, he focused on whether the coupon was one we needed and were planning on using or an extraneous coupon that it was okay to trash. (It was an expired coupon that was destined for the trash, so no foul there…)
So, note to self: coupons and other small pieces of paper are not appropriate toys for your 6 month old, no matter how much she loves them.