I have arrived as a mother.

I thought I had made it when I reached out, bare-handed, to keep my naked toddler from pooping on the floor.

I knew I made it today when I could calmly pull over to the side of the road, scoop as much vomit as possible off my toddler and out of her car seat, efficiently (and effectively, I might add) paper her with stolen napkins, and then drive home. All without losing my schmidt.

Big dinner + rear-facing car seat + windy roads in BFE = Not Good

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