I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or what, but lately the DreadBrewer has been suffering through my having some crazy mood swings. It’s sort of like Russian Roulette: on any given night will he get nice, loving BrewsterMama or mean, sarcastic BrewsterMama?
It seems to be worst in the evenings when he’s playing with the Littlest Brewster. Some nights, the scene unfolds like this:
But lately, more often than not, the scene instead unfolds like this:
(Those are flames coming out of my mouth, in case you couldn’t tell.)
I don’t know what it is, but sometimes I get so angry that DB has the sheer audacity to play with our daughter and (gasp!) that they are having fun right in front of me!!!!!!!!! I mean, have you ever heard of such abominable behavior on the part of a husband and daughter? It’s downright appalling.
And it’s not always while I’m working on dinner. Heck, about 40-50% of the time, DB does the cooking. So I can’t blame lack of help in the kitchen.
I can completely lose my schmidt while I’m just sitting there and they start rough housing or playing chase or getting every single flaming toy out of the the toy box and scattering it around the living room so that I’m going to trip on it and break my neck or throw my back out because I’m going to have to be the one to pick the damn things up and couldn’t they be just a little more considerate because I am growing a person and damnit, I am tired?!?!?!
Crap! I did it again!
And it’s one of those things that, while I’m doing it, while I’m spouting the most vitriolic sarcasm I can come up with at my poor, long-suffering, and ever-loving husband, I know that I am being ridiculous. I know I’m being obnoxious and unreasonable. And I know that once the crazy passes, I am going to have to apologize and make it up to him ((wink wink. nudge nudge.)).
For the most part, DB accepts my recent mood swings as one of the more unfortunate side effects of my riding the baby train. I’ve always been a little mood swingy (if that’s even a word) so Lord knows all the hormones I’ve got roaming around now are going to make it worse. And this has always been a tough time of year for me anyway and it’s worse this year with the anniversary of Mom’s death rapidly approaching. So he’s fairly understanding and lets it roll off his back like water off a duck.
But I hate it. So I guess this post has two purposes. First, this is about as public a forum as I can get to apologize to DB and say sorry for being crazy incarnate some nights. And second to see if any of my other mama friends suffer from the same affliction and, if so, how they deal with it.
And Lord knows, please don’t tell me I need meds. I have been there, done that and I much prefer me now to me then. I’m not knocking medication; I think it’s a wonderful thing that is sadly under-utilized due to the stigma surrounding mental and emotional issues. I’m not depressed. I’m not manic. I’m simply a slightly frazzled, hormonal mama looking for some new ways to cope. So if you’ve got any suggestions (or just want to commiserate), spill the beans!