Russian Roulette, BrewsterMama Style

I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or what, but lately the DreadBrewer has been suffering through my having some crazy mood swings. It’s sort of like Russian Roulette: on any given night will he get nice, loving BrewsterMama or mean, sarcastic BrewsterMama?

It seems to be worst in the evenings when he’s playing with the Littlest Brewster. Some nights, the scene unfolds like this:

Sometimes 1

But lately, more often than not, the scene instead unfolds like this:

Sometimes 2

(Those are flames coming out of my mouth, in case you couldn’t tell.)

I don’t know what it is, but sometimes I get so angry that DB has the sheer audacity to play with our daughter and (gasp!) that they are having fun right in front of me!!!!!!!!!       I mean, have you ever heard of such abominable behavior on the part of a husband and daughter? It’s downright appalling.

And it’s not always while I’m working on dinner. Heck, about 40-50% of the time, DB does the cooking. So I can’t blame lack of help in the kitchen.

I can completely lose my schmidt while I’m just sitting there and they start rough housing or playing chase or getting every single flaming toy out of the the toy box and scattering it around the living room so that I’m going to trip on it and break my neck or throw my back out because I’m going to have to be the one to pick the damn things up and couldn’t they be just a little more considerate because I am growing a person and damnit, I am tired?!?!?!

Crap! I did it again!

And it’s one of those things that, while I’m doing it, while I’m spouting the most vitriolic sarcasm I can come up with at my poor, long-suffering, and ever-loving husband, I know that I am being ridiculous. I know I’m being obnoxious and unreasonable. And I know that once the crazy passes, I am going to have to apologize and make it up to him ((wink wink. nudge nudge.)).

For the most part, DB accepts my recent mood swings as one of the more unfortunate side effects of my riding the baby train. I’ve always been a little mood swingy (if that’s even a word) so Lord knows all the hormones I’ve got roaming around now are going to make it worse. And this has always been a tough time of year for me anyway and it’s worse this year with the anniversary of Mom’s death rapidly approaching. So he’s fairly understanding and lets it roll off his back like water off a duck.

But I hate it. So I guess this post has two purposes. First, this is about as public a forum as I can get to apologize to DB and say sorry for being crazy incarnate some nights. And second to see if any of my other mama friends suffer from the same affliction and, if so, how they deal with it.

And Lord knows, please don’t tell me I need meds. I have been there, done that and I much prefer me now to me then. I’m not knocking medication; I think it’s a wonderful thing that is sadly under-utilized due to the stigma surrounding mental and emotional issues. I’m not depressed. I’m not manic. I’m simply a slightly frazzled, hormonal mama looking for some new ways to cope. So if you’ve got any suggestions (or just want to commiserate), spill the beans!

3 thoughts on “Russian Roulette, BrewsterMama Style

  1. Oh my, I am so right there with you. I agree that it has to be the pregnancy hormones. Things I have gotten upset about lately:

    * Hubby gave kiddo a bath
    * Hubby took over when kiddo was having a “NO SEEP NO SEEP! PLAY! PLAY!” moment at 3am
    * Hubby set up the Christmas tree, prompting kiddo to happily yell “DA DA TEE DA DA TEE” all day.

    Coping tips? Well, uh, hrm. It helped me a lot just to realize it was hormones and that This Too Shall Pass. I try to keep my mouth shut as much as possible (not always successfully) and take as much “me time” as I can when frazzled. I’ve snuck out for pedicures every few weeks during this pregnancy, which for some reason has really helped. They don’t take long, it’s a foot massage, and it’s not like I can reach my own toes anyway.

    Also, do you have your own night out? I starting attending a board gaming night twice a month and it’s been a HUGE help. It’s only about 2 hours after dinner and is really close by, but just going out and sharing a hobby with some new people has mellowed me out considerably.

    • How *dare* he give your child a bath? And a Christmas tree!?!?? Unheard of.

      I have found that I am much happier and calmer when I make time to exercise, if I can get over the guilt factor for leaving to go to the gym. I need to realize that it’s not selfish if it keeps me from biting off the DreadBrewer’s head every night.

      A night out twice a month sounds lovely. Maybe there’s a homebrew club nearby I can join… I’ll have to look into that. Thanks for the tips!

  2. Some of it you can blame on the pregnancy hormones. Some of it I think is purely from being a mom and, at least in my case, feeling constantly frazzled and behind on everything and there being a million and one things on your to-do list and having these tiny little people demanding so much from you. So sometimes I see Jim playing with Ella and instead of thinking, “Oh how sweet” my mind jumps to, “Great, something more I have to clean up.” Or, “If he has so much free time why the hell isn’t he washing the dishes?!”

    Anyway, I second the suggestion to do something for yourself. Take a bath, get a cup of coffee by yourself. Have a regular night out with friends. Get a babysitter and go on a date. Because remember- “when mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.

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