A Comedy of Errors, times two

Here’s a recap of how the DreadBrewer’s turn at nighttime feeding went last night:

-Go in to feed BIT. Get her up and change her diaper, which she detests as her bum is very sore from pooping a gajillion times a day. Commence BIT screaming at getting her heiney wiped.
-Start feeding BIT. Realize that she has just pooped. Again.
-Change BIT’s diaper. Commence screaming.
-Screaming incites spit-up. Clean up baby as best as possible. Try to calm her down. Resume feeding.
-Realize that BIT has dropped the hammer. Again. Decide to wait to on the diaper change until done with bottle.
-Finish bottle. Try to begin 10 minute postprandial upright cuddle (we learned with LB that this really cuts down on crib spit-up). Realize that BIT has pooped some more.
-Change BIT’s diaper. Commence screaming that triggers epic spit-up. Realize that new pajamas are needed.
*At this point, I poke my head in to see if he needs help. When he asks me where the new pajamas are, I told him that they were in LB’s room. Yes, poor planning on my part, I know. Luckily, LB sleeps like a log.*
-Slip stealthily into LB’s room, retrieve new PJs, and get BIT strapped in. Finish postprandial cuddle. Attempt to put her in her crib, which just pisses her off.
-Rock BIT in arms for 10 more minutes until she finally falls asleep and slip out of room, hoping against hope that she doesn’t poop again before we’re out of the room. Realize that the whole fiasco just took an hour

And here’s a recap of how my morning went:

-Get up at 6:30 to sneak downstairs and have a peaceful cup of coffee before everyone else is up. Enjoy delicious, delicious coffee for 15 minutes before I hear stirring upstairs.
-Go up to check on everyone and see DB lurching painfully into the Littlest Brewster’s room. Sleeping in the hospital chair/bed/thing + wrangling a toddler and a newborn have conspired to throw his back out. Decide that he can deal more easily with LB and head into BIT’s room. We get BIT and LB on the bed side by side and I go to change BIT’s diaper. Naturally, she poops – again – as I’m changing her already poopy diaper.
-Get DB situated on the heating pad on the couch and deposit BIT in his arms so that he can give her a bottle. Mid-bottle, BIT poops. Again. Decide to wait to on the diaper change until done with bottle.
-As BIT is having her bottle, discover that Ethan has vomited on the rug through the fortuitous occurrence of LB stepping in it. Clean up cat vomit, with LB’s “help.”
-Change BIT’s diaper. Hand her back to DB as I go to get breakfast ready for me and LB.
-Sit down in recliner to eat my zucchini bread (recipe coming soon! It is SO good!) while LB has hers. Stupidly place cup of coffee (the LAST of the brewed coffee, I might add) next to LB. Blinks jumps at a fly in the kitchen, which excites LB into waving her arms about, which leads to epic coffee spill all over living room. Clean up coffee and comfort LB who is upset at having spilled said delicious (and now unfortunately gone) coffee.
-Blinks decides to come into the living room and vomit. Twice. In two different places. Clean up vomit as LB excitedly tells me about Blinks vomiting.
-BIT poops. Again. Change poopy diaper, inciting baby grumbles, and give her back to DB to comfort. Get some yogurt for the Littlest Brewster.
-Get into argument with the Littlest Brewster about using her fingers to eat her yogurt.
-Realize that we need to pick out recipes from DB’s crazy wok cookbooks as we’re supposed to go to the Asian market after BIT’s pediatrician appointment this morning. Also realize that we have to leave the house in exactly 20 minutes. Start flipping through cookbooks and pick out two recipes with DB that look tasty AND reasonably simple.
-Comfort the Littlest Brewster, who has proceeded to smash her thumb in the box holding her plastic play foods. Realize that she has now pooped and change her diaper.
-Finally get everyone out the door and into the car, only 2 minutes past our desired leaving time, and go out to start the day. Hope against hope that every morning will not be like this…

It’s easier once you get a routine established, right?

5 thoughts on “A Comedy of Errors, times two

  1. I’m sorry buddy. šŸ˜¦ I feel bad that I was smiling through some of this…as you will in a few weeks/months. It made for a really good writeup.

    And can I just say I love that you use the word “postprandial”? One of the (very many) reasons I love you.

    • If you can’t laugh at days like this, life is going to be really, really tough. As this morning was going down, I found myself thinking, “At least it’ll make a good story…”

  2. All the super sweet LB and BIT pics make me go ooohh I got baby fever now, just so much cuteness. Then read this post and it makes me go, nope not quite yet, especially since my little one is still so little (and still won’t sleep through the night)!! Glad things seem to be going smoothly for you guys, and seriously, you and Jason make some super cute babies!! šŸ™‚

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