We’ve officially been home with BIT for a few days now. And I’ve just got two things to say:
Damn, it’s been harder than I thought.
And damn, it’s been easier than I thought.
What’s been harder: I had forgotten what it is like to have someone SO dependent on you. To have someone need you for everything. To have someone who doesn’t understand that nighttime hours are for sleeping. (Admittedly, BIT has actually been a sleeping champ the last two nights, so I can’t complain too much. I would still prefer 8 uninterrupted hours versus a couple of longer chunks of sleep.)
-I had also forgotten how hard it is to change a diaper on a tiny squirmy bum. And just how frequently newborns poop! (Though I swear LB didn’t poop this much… I would have remembered something this epic.)
-And I had forgotten just how frustrating it is when your child is crying and you don’t know why and you’re tired and she’s tired and your husband is tired and you are all stuck with each other.
But some things have been easier: This time around, I went into it thinking that I’d give breast feeding a shot but that there would be NO guilt if it didn’t work out. And you know is what? I tried. It didn’t. And I don’t feel bad about it at all. Last time, I spent a good three weeks riding the crazy, overwhelming guilt train of not having “successfully” fed my child. It seriously impacted those early days with LB. And not having to deal with that has already made these early days with BIT better.
-Also, I remembered pretty quickly how to give a bottle and how to burp. How to do the newborn sway and pat. How to accomplish things one-handed while holding a baby.
-Perhaps most importantly, I remembered how delicious beer is when you can have a whole imperial pint of homebrew with impunity.
The Littlest Brewster has been a champ so far. She’s adamant that BIT is her baby and has been a big help with getting diapers, spit rags, etc. She’s “helped” give BIT a bottle a few times, which was an adventure for everyone. Just yesterday, though, she started to get a little clingy and grumpy. Her grandy came over and she was kind of withdrawn and jerk-y (if we’re being honest). I can’t really blame her – her world has been rather abruptly and permanently changed. But I’m hoping that the transition doesn’t get any worse than this. (And those of you who’ve done this before, feel free to laugh hysterically at my naivete.)
As I have been told in no uncertain terms that I need to put up some pictures of the squishy baby in question, here are some snaps from our first couple of days. Knowing me as well as you do by now, you know these are just a fraction of the multitude of pictures I’ve gotten.