I’ve come to realize that the differences between my expectations for and the reality of living with a toddler will boggle my mind if I examine them closely. For example:
Expectation: We’re going to buy a kite and it will be awesome.
Reality: We buy a kite. There is no wind for hours. Then, when we do get said kite in the air for approximately 30 seconds , LB throws a giant shit fit because she thinks her butterfly kite is flying away from her.
Expectation: I will take LB and we will get the supplies to make a neat chore chart and it will be awesome and she will do her chores.
Reality: LB and I buy supplies. I make neat chore chart, solo. LB promptly wipes off all dry erase from awesome chore chart. I redraw chore chart. LB erases again. I redraw. LB erases. I go back to craft store and spend small fortune on supplies for better, more durable chore chart. I make new chore chart. LB ruins new chore chart. No chores are done…
Expectation: We will get this awesome Icky Bug Alphabet Book and LB will love it and we’ll have an awesome time learning about new bugs.
Reality: LB spends 5 minutes looking at new book before running off to Next Big Thing, which is most likely putting a booger on her sister’s face. DB and I finish the book by ourselves and it is awesome.
Expectation: We will have story time in mommy’s bed and snuggle up and fall asleep together and it will be awesome.
Reality: We have 3 minutes of peaceful story time before LB gets wiggly and refuses to sit still. I try to skip story time and go straight to snuggle and sleep. LB spends 10 minutes wiggling and poking me and breathing in my face before I give up and put her in her own bed. Then I listen to her cry for 5 minutes because it’s dark, she’s alone, she needs x, y, and z before she can go to bed…
Expectation: LB will be jealous and resentful of BIT and it will suck.
Reality: LB adores her little sister and we have to protect BIT from being smothered with love. It is awesome.
Expectation: LB will be too caught up in her own world to realize when I am sad or upset, because toddlers are egotistical jerks.
Reality: LB comes up to me when I am crying and wipes my eyes and tells me “Don’t be sad, mommy. I will make it better.” And it is awesome.
Looking at this list, I think I need to adjust my expectations a bit. That or throw all expectations out the window entirely, which may be the key to a happier, less harried life with a toddler.