For a long time, I trimmed the Littlest Brewster’s bangs myself, rather than take her somewhere and shell out $15 to cut 1/4″ of hair. I mean, it’s not like it’s that terribly difficult to cut a reasonably straight line across someone else’s forehead, you know?
And then I decided that it would be better to let her bangs grow out, so I stopped trimming her hair all together and let it grow looooong and beautiful. (Like Elsa, as LB likes to inform me.)
Recently, though, I had been thinking that she was looking a little raggedy around the back and that we should take her somewhere to get an actual trim. Once I had a template, I was sure I could follow it in the future, but I wanted her first real haircut to be by a professional.
And last Friday was going to be the day. I called the GreatClips right up the street to put our name on the list, only to be informed that they only do walk-ins but that there was currently no wait. So I loaded LB and BIT into the car and off we went.
Now, when we got there and I was getting the girls out of the car, I noticed that there was a bit of an odor surrounding us. But I figured it was me, because – you know- homebrew toots and all that – so I just carried on. We walked into GreatClips to find that there is definitely a wait now. I put our name on the list and sat down, wondering how I was going to fill the time until it was LB’s turn. (And I might add that the two other people who were waiting were NOT friendly in the slightest! They wouldn’t even look over at us. Though that may have something to do with the cloud of odor still surrounding us…)
After just 5 minutes, the Littlest Brewster started telling me, over and over, how hungry she was and how badly she needed a snack. I asked the lady if we had time to go get a snack at the coffee shop a few doors down, which naturally we did as these stylists were as slow as molasses. So I carried BIT in her car seat and walked with LB down to the coffee shop. We excitedly picked out a danish to share and one to bring home to daddy and had just sat down when BIT started getting grumpy in the car seat. I fished her out and turned her to face LB while on my lap, in one swift movement.
LB and I ate for a few moments, heatedly discussing which part of the danish belonged to whom. And then BIT lunged forward to try and get her own bit of danish and I realized what that smell had been.
She had poop all the way up her back. Like ALL. THE. WAY. UP.
(Now, in my defense, I have had a sinus thing for weeks and my sense of smell isn’t quite what it used to be. Which is why the poop explosion and subsequent fog of funk had barely registered on my radar.)
I started digging through the diaper bag, hoping against hope I had packed a spare outfit. No joy.
Luckily, it was a chilly day so we had the Littlest Brewster doubled up on shirts. So I schlepped both girls into the bathroom, got BIT out of the poo clothes, and commandeered one of LB’s shirts for her little sister.
At this point, the DreadBrewer texted me and said that he’d like to be there for LB’s first haircut too, if it wasn’t too late. So I decided that it was an appropriate time to beat a hasty retreat and headed home. The Littlest Brewster was NOT pleased that she wouldn’t be getting her haircut but I promised her that we would take Daddy and all go together tomorrow. (Note: When I poked my head into GreatClips to let them know to take us off the list, they had just started the man in front of us. And this was 40 minutes after we got there…)
Saturday morning, we decided to try again. We mapped the route to a different GreatClips, this one right near the homebrew supply store so as to knock out two birds with one stone. We all ate breakfast and piled into the car. The Littlest Brewster was soooo excited about getting her hair cut and kept telling us she was going to get a haircut just like Daddy.
About 8 minutes into the drive, LB pipes up from the back and says, “My tummy hurts.” Given that she had been reading a book in the backseat, we had a good idea of what was coming next. And sure enough, right after I got a spare bin up in front of her, she threw up and threw up and threw up. Lots and lots. (Thank God the DreadBrewer was with us so that I was free to hold the bin. Otherwise it would have been a right mess.)
After she was done, we told her that we would just go home and get her hair cut some other time.
Well, you would have thought we told her there was no such thing as Queen Elsa of Arendell. She was devastated and insisted that she really wanted to go and that her tummy felt all better. (Which it usually does once you throw up, as I’m sure you all remember from childhood episodes of motion sickness.)
So we figured what the hell, let’s go. We’ve already made it through poop and vomit to get this haircut, what else could possibly go wrong? Thank God, nothing else did. (Well, the brew store didn’t have any of the stuff we needed but that’s a tragedy in it’s own right, completely unrelated to this farce.)
The Littlest Brewster did pretty well during our visit to GreatClips. The stylist was very nice and did not let on once that she thought I was a crazy mother who hovered unreasonably close to make sure she didn’t accidentally baldify my baby. And she graciously showed me how to replicate the process at home, so that we don’t need to shell out a silly amount of money to have a miniscule amount of hair trimmed every two months or so.
It was definitely an ordeal to get there and get it done, but I’m glad we did. And that we got to all go as a family.
And next time I think it’s only homebrew toots, I’m checking BIT just to make sure.