How to tell the Littlest Brewster a bedtime story

Without fail, the bedtime story I tell LB every night follows the same basic formula:

The Littlest Brewster (along with various and sundry family members) goes somewhere to get something. As soon as they find said object, the bad witch and the bad man attempt to take it away. The Littlest Brewster then challenges them to a contest, which she naturally wins quite handily. But because she’s nice, she decides to share with the bad witch and bad man. They are moved by her generosity and have a change of heart and vow never to steal again.

The only things that change are the object of the adventure and the nature of the contest.

For instance, here’s our story from last night. The parts that LB is responsible for saying are bolded. (She only has two lines, but they’re very important.)

LB and BIT and LB and Grandy and LB and Daddy and LB and Mommy and LB (that’s how she likes it. You have to say her the most) went on an adventure to the grocery store to buy strawberries and milk.

Just as we were putting the strawberries and milk in the cart, the bad witch and the bad man came and took our strawberries and said, “You can’t have these! These are OUR strawberries and milk!!!!”

Daddy said, “Hey, that’s not nice!”

And Mommy said, “Yeah, we don’t steal!”

And Grandy said, “Stealing is wrong! We share.”

And BIT said, “Dadadadadada.”

And LB said, “I challenge you to a… (at this point, the Littlest Brewster picks the contest for the night. It’s ranged from an Elsa twirling contest to a farting contest. I kid you not. She refuses to repeat contests and the more outlandish, the better in her opinion.)… jumping on one foot contest!

So first the bad man went. And he went like this (at this point Mommy does an impression of really bad one footed hopping) and everyone laughed because it was so terrible.

Then the bad witch went and she did this (now Mommy does slightly better one footed hopping). And everyone said, “Eh, that’s okay.”

Then LB went and she did this (now Mommy does the best one footed hopping she possibly can). And everyone said, “Oh my goodness! That’s the best jumping on one foot we’ve ever seen! You definitely deserve the strawberries and milk!”

But because LB is magnanimous, which means nice, she said, “There are enough strawberries and milk for everyone! We will share with you!”

And the bad witch and the bad man had a change of heart and said, “Thank you for sharing with us! We will never steal from anyone ever again!”

And they all lived happily ever after!

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