Angry Music

Over the last couple of years, I’ve started listening to contemporary Christian music. Which is surprising since I had always rolled my eyes and made gagging faces at it previously but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways, right? What used to make me uncomfortable now helps put me in the right frame of mind to face the day.

Most mornings, the girls and I listen to Kids Pandora in the car on the way to school. I don’t really mind as I can rock out to some Disney. The girls know by now that you don’t interrupt Mommy while she is singing Disney songs. It can wait.

But on days that I have a particularly frustrating morning trying to herd everyone out the door on time, I like to listen to God songs, at least until we get to daycare and drop IBB off, as that seems to be just enough to get me back in a better state of mind. Once equanimity is restored, back to Caspar Babypants and Veggietales and Disney we go.

The other morning, we had had a reasonably good morning (meaning I hadn’t yelled at anyone yet) but I still felt like listening to God songs in the car. We’re about two songs in when BIT says in her most apologetic, sad, tiny little girl voice, “Mommy, I’m sorry we were bad.”

Surprised, I said, “You weren’t bad, buddy! I thought we had a good morning!”

To which BIT replies, “Then why are you listening to your angry music?”

The Problem With Bunk Beds…

… is that if the child on the top gets sick and tries, like most people would, to vomit to the side of their bed, then the bed on the bottom gets splattered with vomit as well. 

And as a direct consequence of having to wash TWO beds worth of sheets, I think we’ve single handedly worsened the drought in North Carolina. 

Add in the additional laundry we had to do after the Littlest Brewster then managed to throw up in her sleeping bag, on three different pillows, and on the carpet and our water consumption was pretty high today. 

But you also can’t forget the bath she had to take to get the yuck out of her hair and the showers DB and I had to take because we both smelled like throw up after the clean up operation. And all dishes and cups and everything we had to wash to hopefully keep anyone else from catching the sick.  

And then the SECOND round of sheet washing because LB was so worn out that she had an accident at nap time, something she hasn’t done ever

And then the second bath when BIT decided it would be fun to get out of her bed this evening and go put on lots and lots of Mommy’s toiletries while I was occupied with Itty Bitty. (She walked into IBB’s room grinning like a loon and smelling like coconut, which isn’t usual for her, so I investigated. She had used it all: coconut face oil, body lotion, detangler… She was so greasy and fragrant it was unbelievable. I then burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation and lost all credibility.) 

All I can say is thank God the DreadBrewer was home to help me. And apologize to Mother Nature for worsening the drought. And rejoice that our fridge is well stocked with beer. 

You can’t make this stuff up, part two

For those of you who haven’t read about the Littlest Brewster’s unfortunate timing and accuracy while vomiting, click here.

For those of you who are already acquainted with her prowess, you shouldn’t be surprised by the following story.

Today was supposed to be the day that I took LB and two of her friends from school to an indoor bouncy house in celebration of LB’s birthday. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, but I had resigned myself to the prospect.

Well, at 5:15 this morning, LB calls out “Daddy!” from her room. DB goes in to tell her it’s not time to get up yet and promptly comes back to tell me her room reeks of vomit and to grab the flashlight. I followed him in and, sure enough, she’s thrown up in her bed and on the floor.

We get her cleaned up and snuggled up and I tell her that we’ll have to cancel the bouncy house expedition because she’s sick. (She was surprisingly okay with this, which meant she really didn’t feel good.) Thankfully, I already had the day off work so I could stay home with her. We dropped her sister off at daycare (quarantine her with other kids runny noses versus her sister’s stomach bug!) and settled in at home for a quiet day of rest.

Well, the remainder of the day she was fine. Yes, she wasn’t really hungry but she acted reasonably normally. And there was no more vomiting.

Around 3:15, we decided to run into Food Lion for a few things before picking BIT up from daycare. As we’re making our way down the first aisle, LB goes “I think I need to throw up.”

I went into panic mode. I actually glanced at my purse for a split second (which would cost me later) to decide if I should just have her puke in there. But there were too many valuable things, so I snatched her out of the cart and took off running out the store.

We were within 10 feet of the door when she erupted. (Damn you, moment of indecision!)

Luckily, I had my hand out and I caught some in my hand.

And then I caught some in my shirt.

And then some of it landed on the floor anyway.

And then we made it out the door and she threw up the rest on the sidewalk.

Conveniently, it had been raining, so I managed to rinse my hand off in a puddle, pick LB up, and trudge back into the store to inform them with what dignity I could muster while covered in vomit and holding a vomit smeared child that I was very sorry but we had gotten some throw up on the floor of the produce section and they should probably mop it.

And then I trudged out, head held high, with the Littlest Brewster snuggled on my chest, glued together with sick.

Needless to say, it will be a while before I go back there to buy my pre-work yogurt.

I think BIT has designs on my life…

Due to the diabolical and sadistic jerk who invented daylight savings time (obviously someone with no small children), BIT has started waking up well before the crack of dawn and keeping me company at 4:45 in the morning as I pack lunches and get ready for the day.

Note: I do not usually get up at 4:45 to pack lunches. This extra early start to my day can be directly linked to the time change wreaking havoc on BIT’s internal clock.

This morning, she “helped” me pack my grapes. And this is what I found:


Yep. I think she’s got it in for me.

Oh, she’s crafty all right.

Last Saturday was rainy and yucky, leaving me and DB stuck indoors with the girls all weekend. So Saturday, we turned on The Emperor’s New Groove for a bit before nap, just for something to do.

Well, when I go up to get LB out of bed post nap, she says, “Mommy, my tummy hurts.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” I said. “What kind of hurt? Like you need a snack hurts? Or like you need to take a poop hurts? Or like you need medicine hurts?”

“Like I need a movie hurts.”